This is the video of the armored personnel carrier that Lenco is trying to sell to local police departments all over America. The problems here are two-fold: One, if you give people some cool-ass shit like this, they are going to be inclined to want to use it. I mean, between the AC/DC and the knocking down walls, I would love to ride in — or drive! — one of these things. That is a normal reaction to seeing a badass fighting machine at work.

But that kinda seems like a reason why police shouldn’t have them, because where the hell are all the reports of SWAT teams getting their fucking asses kicked by dudes with meth labs or whatever that necessitate a giant-ass APC? I have missed every one of those stories!

Which is the second problem: First, if you give people neat tools, they will look for excuses to use them. I got a power drill a couple of years ago and screwed all sorts of shit together, and that was a fucking power drill, y’all. And second, there are no problems that require this solution! Not in American policing, anyway. No police official anywhere has been like, “Well, we would have stopped crime if it hadn’t been for the fact that the criminals have such well-fortified hideouts!” They’re not busting Doctor Octopus in his secret base, right? And it’s not like they’re poorly equipped before.

But you give police ridiculous tools — like desert camo, or tanks, or Steven Seagal (or, god forbid, all three) — and what you end up with is a lot of people (some of whom live in the wrong house!) getting their walls knocked down and their dogs killed. When you have these things, you want to use them. Even if there is no need for them whatsoever.