Edit 07/31/08: If you landed here from a websearch for “because I moved with my job in United Kingdom” or something similar, and are hoping to find out some more information regarding an ad for a place to live that you saw posted online, let me assure you that it’s a scam. The place doesn’t exist, and they’re about to offer a totally safe-sounding way to send them money.

Oh, lord. One of my top pastimes the past month or so has been to check out rental property in Austin- ostensibly because I’m trying to find a place for us to live when we get back before we leave, but actually just cuz I’m a nerd and this is a nerdy hobby of mine.

Anyway, I saw an ad today that caught my eye.

$800 / 2br - Grate and clean apartment for rent at $800 (Austin)

Grate and clean apartment for rent with living room,2 bedrooms and 1 bathroom, square 1192.The apartment is located at 300 West Avenue Austin, TX 78701. You can move immediately in the apartment and the rent for every month is $800 including all utilities.

Followed by an extensive list of the amenities. It triggered a red flag for me- 300 West Avenue is one of the newish condo high-rises they threw up downtown a couple years ago, and you don’t get seventy cents a square foot on property within six miles of the center of the city, period. It’s severely underpriced, and the pictures don’t even necessarily look like they’re in the same building (look how close the fridge is to the counter in picture three, and how far it is from the wall in the second picture).

And I got about four emails into an exchange with someone who posted a similar scam when we were looking for our new flat in London a couple months ago. It was the same basic deal- too good to be true, but only just- this one in Austin is a little too over-the-top, even. A place that’s just about thirty percent below market value in a desirable neighborhood. The way the scam works, they get you hooked, tell you a bunch of reasons why it’s hard for them to show it- maybe they live an hour out of town, or they’re not even in the country anymore and they have to have a relative show it to you- and they need to make sure you’re serious about the place. They don’t ask for money up front, because everybody knows that’s bullshit. Instead they ask for you to prove that you have enough money to pay for it. After all, they’ll explain, it’s a burden to show it, and the last four or five people who expressed interest didn’t really have the money at all and were just wasting their time (because most people looking at bargain apartments secretly just want to waste the owner’s time, obviously). So they’ll ask you to prove that you have the money. Nothing that comes from your bank will suffice- that can all be faked, and the last person who looked at it just sent them a fake bank statement so he could look at it even though he didn’t have the money, surely you understand what a hassle it is… But hey, they’ve got a great idea! How about you go to Western Union and transfer the amount of the rent to yourself, and send them a scan of the receipt? You have to pay for it in cash, so it’s proof that you actually do have the money, and since it’s in your own name, it’s clearly safe!

Except that you don’t need a name for Western Union. There’s a number on the receipt that you use to claim the money, and once you scan it and send it- poof! Money’s gone.

Anyway. I replied as though I am interested, because I am terribly bored and taking drugs for money. Here is her reply:

Thank you for your interest. I have available the apartment located at 300 West Avenue Austin, TX 78701 , with 2 bedrooms, and 1 bathroom, square ft 1192. Because I moved with my job in United Kingdom, London, i need money to pay the rent here which is very expensive and that is the reason i want to rent the apt at this low price and to find a good person for it fast. I can rent you the apt for maximum 5 years this is the period i have contract here but i can rent it for a low period too. I`m the owner of the apt and it’s exactly like in the PICS. The rent for 1 month is $800 including all utilities (water, electricity, Internet, cable, parking, air conditioning, fireplace, dishwasher, garbage disposal, microwave, refrigerator). You can move in the apt in the same day when you receive the keys. The only problem is that I`m the only person who has the keys but I hope that we will find a compromise.

Which is awesome. Because we both live in London, so I can antagonize this person for a number of future emails by trying to arrange a place to meet, while I wait to see how he or she tries to wriggle out of it. I am a very small, petty person, but at least I will have an activity for the next several hours.