This is mostly just for me, a chance to think out loud. There’s an article I want to write, and I’m trying to find a home for it.

I hate the query/submissions process- it makes me deeply uncomfortable. We had some friends over for lunch today, and one of them does some work as a script-reader for a theatre in London. There was a good twenty minute period today during which we made fun of a script that she told us she had to read called losing ophelia, the manuscript for which featured the hand-calligraphied title in green ink. It was, as you might expect from a script called losing ophelia, apparently quite bad.

And I hate the submissions process, because I have terrible visions of my stuff getting the same treatment. Has an editor somewhere entertained guests by reading “Monument Valley” out loud in a high-pitched voice? Has the query letter for poplife made the rounds at cocktail parties and literary agency meet-and-greets? oh, let me tell you about this book i just looked at… god, that fucking thing was retarded! Agent One says to his colleague. you got that one, too? i can’t believe you even asked for the sample chapters. i used the query letter to house train my cat, but she refused to shit on it.

Because, you know, it’s a process of putting yourself out there to be judged.

And I tend to do well with magazine queries, when I’ve gone submitted myself to the process. A couple of hits; a generous, if frustrating, rejection due to business reasons from the sadly-departed punk planet; a generally positive response, for the most part. But I just don’t like doing it. I like the writing, and I like the visceral thrill of presenting myself to an audience by going into people’s living rooms or local rock club or wherever and actually saying the words. That’s what got me started in spoken word. Rejection is still a factor, but god damn it, I would much rather be rejected because some guy in the back of the club wants to shout at me that I’m a stupid asshole then receive a form letter from some editor.

And this is all beside the point, at least for the moment. weathered has at least one good re-write ahead of it (speaking of which- hey, uh, first-draft readers, how’s it coming?), before I submit that year and a half of my life to the judgment of people whose interest may well be influenced by whether what they had for lunch agreed with them, or whether there’s anything good on Perez Hilton that day. The point right now is that I am trying to write a query letter for this article.

I’m just gonna brainstorm here, free-associate a bit. Thinking out loud.

The article’s on the BAFL, which is the British American Football League. Specifically, I want to focus on the London Blitz, the previous season’s defending champions. The idea of the piece is to use American football, and the people who play it, as a lens through which to examine the differences in British and American culture. There are a few ways to do this- a few questions that need to be asked and answered, in order for the expected insight to come. Primarily-

What leads a British boy who’s been raised on association football (soccer) to take an interest in a game that his friends and neighbors are probably not interested in?

Who attends London Blitz games? Are they passionate about the team, a specific player, or just the game?

There’s a lot of tension between fans of American football and association football- there’s a lot of crossover, too, but there’s a sort of British obligation to mock the American game as rugby for pansies, and annoyed Americans retaliate by whipping out the old Mike Ditka line about how, if man were meant to play soccer, the gods wouldn’t have given us arms. Given that, do the British adherents to the game look at it as something that they’re maybe interested in, but obviously as something secondary to whatever’s happening in the Premiere League or FIFA?

And it’s fascinating, because by definition, an American football player in England- even if he’s the star quarterback, you know, and seriously hot shit- is an outsider. And there’s a cliche in the US that, if you want to name the most mainstream, all-American boy you can, you go with the captain of the football team. Whether it’s Jason Street or Tom Brady or whoever, star football player is synonymous with being a consumate insider, and by playing a sport that’s marginal in the national culture, it’s the opposite over here.

And this is what I want to write about. I want to follow a handful of players- I haven’t met the team yet, because I will have an easier time being taken seriously if I’m already attached to a publication, rather than writing on spec- but I want to follow a handful of players for a few weeks, whichever players are the most insightful on these themes, or who have new things to talk about that I’ve yet to think about, and get some answers, write them down, tell their story. Because it’s an interesting one, especially as the Premiereship and association football gather steam in America right now, with Beckham in LA and teams playing pre-season games in American cities. The NFL is doing regular season games in London every year now. The cultural exchange is picking up, and there’s a chance to really examine it by looking at the people in England who are willing to play a brutal game that no one really cares about over here, to see why it appeals to them.

What does a BAFL player dream of? Is it attracting enough attention to make it into the NFL, or to see the game pick up enough support in the UK to support a serious professional league?

And the fact that both countries call the game football… It’s too good to pass up.

And so right now, I’m trying to figure out how to write this query letter. I have a shortlist of editors to submit to, but I haven’t quite put together in my head what these questions are before, what I want to write about.

The BAFL season starts for the Blitz on April 22. I’d like to find a publication by the 15th or so, so I can start meeting the players and follow the team for a few weeks before writing the article. Two weeks ought to be enough time for a magazine.

Anyway. This is just thinking aloud, like I said. I hate writing query letters, but I guess I have some raw materials to draw from, now.